Just add to the burden

I am panicking quite badly. This is the most stressful week in a long time (or at least since my last deadline, or possibly my doctoral defence). I am finishing a post doc application, a job application, a serious task for a job interview, a book review and two (long overdue) articles. So, I am trying to calm down by listening to Comforting sounds, by Mew. It is for some reason a strangely comforting song. And I am such a sucker for songs that build up to a massive string crescendo!

Itsy bitsy...

While Scandinavia is suffering from a serious cold, and is buried under tons of snow* we are moving toward a new spider season. Last night, as we were on our way to bed, Tim suddenly told me not to go in to the bedroom. Did I obey him? Of course I didn't! But he had discovered a wolf spider. My hero managed to trap it under a glass (yes, he is far too nice - I would have crushed under a book/newspaper/whatever was close and handy**) and get it out. But I seriously freaked out! Tim tried to calm me down, by saying that at least I didn't have to worry about being bitten. Wrong thing to say - at least when the emphasis is on 'you' rather than 'bitten'. I.e. he normally gets bitten by them. This was followed by a story of how he just to be bitten as a kid, and I remembered the HUGE one I once saw back in Gloucestershire (too big to fit under a glass!), and Tim tried to calm me down again by telling me about all the beasts his Aussie mate was bitten by as a kid. Not helpful! I will from now on sleep on the sofa and never enter the bedroom again...

*While this seems to annoy all my scandi friends and family who desperately long for some sun and spring - suckers! - it has actually spiced up my life. 1) I get to feel like a live in the tropics (one can always dream) and in a very civilized country that has (at least for the moment) working public transport. 2) Mum has changed her normal topic of conversation from "What did you have for dinner? We had..." to "You will not believe how long it took me to get in to/home from work today" and "We have had to shovel snow xx times today". Variation is a blessing!

**Yes, once in my youth I trapped an enormous bug in the middle of a library book. I never finished reading it (or opened it), but returned the book the following day. I still feel just a little bit bad about it.

Please call more often

*ring, ring*

-Hello?
-Good afternoon. Is doctor B there?
-Which one?

Hahahahaha! Oh, that feels good. (And this, folks, is probably the only use I will ever get of that title, so I am bloody well going to enjoy it!)

Numbers - gaaah!

Less of both a rise and a shine today. So tired I can barely remember my own name. My head was buzzing with job, good sentences ("have to remember that one, it'll be great in the introduction") and general hormones (endorphins?) last night, which made me unable to fall asleep even though my body wanted nothing more. Have spent the ENTIRE day trying to fill out forms, making budgets and trying to work out much I should earn (What does one earn? I have definitely been out of work for too long!), and how much I should add for the university's overhead expenses. It is a jungle out there, I tell you! Also, there's a reason why I'm in humanities, and why I got my only poor grade in maths. This is not down my alley! I just feel like I'm wasting the time that should have been spent writing the project description.

Back to life, back to reality

Rise and shine today (well, not so much shine, but I did rise). No more jetlag excuses for me (well, I'm still super tired in the mornings, but can hardly blame different time zones any longer). Today I was an early bird, and met Em for breakfast at King's Cross. Had not seen her in ages, so we ended up having a 2.5 hour coffee session, catching up on more or less everything. (And enjoyed huge American coffees - I have become addicted to the hazelnut kind.)

Then off to the BL across the street. It is almost frightening to see how little has changed since I was last here a few (2-3?) months ago. The same people are still hanging out (read: work) in the reading room: the possible transvestite, the frumpy woman who seems to know everyone, the bloke with the beaky nose, and so on. A few new faces among the members of staff; but the anorectic looking one is still alice (thank God, I quite like her), the little fat one too, the old guy hasn't retired yet, and even the two super grumpy ones were smiling and joking. It feels quite good to be back. In my post-finishing-my-degree-semi-depression I had totally forgotten how exciting the research can be, and how I love the material I am working with.

Now, the countdown for post doc applications has begun...